I feel so emotional...

When you have a surge of emotions - positive, negative, whatever, do you tend to express them or keep them inside?

Both extroverted and introverted emotional responses have a place - we can't all be saying everything we feel all the time. But neither can we have healthy relationships if we hide or bury everything we feel.

in some relationships, one person is much more emotive than the other - and it works out for both. If one of you gets really worked up over things and the other of you tends to "go with the flow" you can be a really happy balance for each other.

What we should be mindful of, however, is to check that our emotions do not crowd out others or keep them from expressing feelings or emotions that are different from our own.

You can see this when one person has explosive emotions, and these outbursts can leave little room for any other feelings. I also see it when the introverted person is so uncomfortable with expressing emotions that he/she tries to squash any emotions that feel bad - their own emotions or those of others.

(squash is the new term for control)

Anger is normal, sadness is normal, being cranky is normal - we all feel these things sometimes. Being a healthy human means having a full range of emotional responses to our environment.

Our society isn't very good at making space for healthy emotional expressions. We are "embarrassed" to cry in public, we can accept an angry man but get really uncomfortable if a woman expresses anger. If someone is having a bad day people are inclined to say, "cheer up" or worse yet, "why don't you smile?"

More discomfort with strong emotions...

People who are grieving or recovering from a trauma are generally given a limited amount of time to heal and then they are expected to get back to normal - 2 weeks is about average, I think.

Perhpas this post should be two posts - one on expressing emotions and another on gaining a more realistic understanding of grief and trauma - for now they are in one, probably because they are related in my mind.

So, what is your emotional temperature today? and, how do you react to the emotions of others?

Cynthia
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Cynthia McKenna, LPC, NCC
Cynthia McKenna Counseling
www.cynthiamckennacounseling.com

Comments

[Emily]

Squashing emotions... OMGoodness, I totally do that!