I like the rush hour...

I am part of Leadership Boerne, a nine month program that educates people (in this case, me) in the various components that make Boerne run. 

Yesterday was devoted to education.  We had great speakers and visited both public and private schools.  It was a terrific day.

I was a bit surprised and amused at what happened between sessions.  At every break time, 24+ adults scrambling for their cell phones and BlackBerrys, returning calls and answering emails.

I commented on this to one man who was walking and simultaneously writing email on his BlackBerry.  His response was, "I have to do this so I don't get behind." 

In the 80's, I used to listen to a Peter Gabriel song  I Have the Touch.  The song begins with:

"The time I like is the rush hour
cos I like the rush"

I thought of this song while I watched us (myself included) multitask, keep in touch with clients and employees.  We were in a state of rushing.

The refrain to  I Have the Touch says:

"Im wanting contact
Im wanting contact with you"

I think that was/is the momentum behind all of our cell phoning and blackberrying/emailing.  As humans, we crave contact.

I don't mean for this to sound pathological, because I don't think it is.  Instead, I think it is organic.  I believe we are created to live in relationship, and that creation gives us a drive to be in contact with one another.

A great deal of my counseling practice involves healing relationships and helping people get back in touch with themselves and the ones they love.

Like Peter Gabriel, we crave contact, and we  do whatever it takes to get it.

"Pull my chin, stroke my hair, scratch my nose, hug my knees
Try drink, food, cigarette, tension will not ease
I tap my fingers, fold my arms, breathe in deep, cross my legs
Shrug my shoulders, stretch my back - but nothing seems
To please

I need contact
I need contact
Nothing seems to please
I need contact"

I think this pull toward contact is part of the blessing and curse of the holidays.  We want to get together with folks we care about.  We long for loving relationships. 

Sometimes, however, our expectations get the best of us.  We want contact with others, as long as they do what we want them to do, or act the way we want them to act.

The funny thing is, of course, that this kind of dynamic actually pushes people away from us.

So how do we learn to connect with others without trying to mold them into our own image?  On our best days, we take people as they come.  But what things - current or historical - trigger the desire to only have contact on our own terms?

I welcome your response and feedback to this post. 
Cynthia
*************
Cynthia McKenna, LPC, NCC
Creating Healthy Relationships
www.cynthiamckennacounseling.com
CounselingBlog

Comments

[Dina at Wordfeeder.com]

What a great topic! Cynthia, you have such a way with words and contemplative nature.

One thing that always miffs me about we humans is this. Why are we always striving to touch what is out of reach, yet so often failing to see and connect/make contact with, what is in front of us?

As I say this, I mean it on so many levels.

[Cynthia McKenna LPC, NCC]

"Why are we always striving to touch what is out of reach, yet so often failing to see and connect/make contact with, what is in front of us?"

Dina,
this is a wonderful reflection. I am inclined to say/write something about mindfulness, but I think I would like to contemplate this for a while.
Thank you for posting.
Cynthia